A Test of Trust

I don’t know where to start. Life has really been a roller coaster ride since my husband and I came here in the U. A. E. So many trials, difficulties, and testings of faith, patience, and trust… can’t count them all. Tears have fallen and disappointments have come flooding in, but at the end of it all, God remains faithful. 

This morning, I was greeted with a bad news. Reading the message on my phone, I saw myself staring blankly into the screen. “Why” was the only word that reverberated in my mind. My mind was hollow and my mouth was shut with yet another disappointment. But in the midst of the setback, even though words like “why” and “how come” were overwhelming and were crushing my hope, I prayed. I closed my eyes and constantly reminded myself that God is good, He never fails. The person on the other line kept on presenting to me the reasons and giving me further explanations. She said time ran out for me, that “it’s not in their control.” I acknowledged her message and eventually thanked her. Then I turned off my screen and sat down for a while.

I was downhearted and confused. God knew what we needed, but why?  I opened my Bible mobile app and checked out the verse of the day. It says,

But those who wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint. (Isaiah 40:31)

Wait on the Lord?

Renew their strength?

I was in the state of vagueness yet reassuring, wonder yet trusting. At the back of my mind, I still wanted to wait on the Lord and see how He will “renew my strength”, even if the situation was unlikely to work out. And in my mind, I knew I believed Him, and trusted Him that He can do the impossible. Yes, the impossible. Nothing is impossible with the Lord!

That day, I would often gaze at that verse. I delved into the meaning of every word and searched for that faith that was still within me. I was remembering my prayers days ago and the moments that I claimed the victory in the name of Jesus; that God will never fail me. And I did believe, that He will do something, something that only He can do.

I was in that scenario when, that afternoon, I received another message from the same sender.

“Camille, I have a very good news for you.”

In a blink of an eye, my world turned upside down. Then it hit me- the situation was reversed and the tides were turned for me! Tears immediately rolled down my cheeks. They were tears of joy and inexplicable happiness. “Thank You Lord!”, “God is good!”, “Hallelujah!” were the first words that came out of my mind. I knew it! Nothing is impossible with the Lord! Praise Him! Glory to God!

In that moment, I was filled with overflowing thankfulness and amazement. I knew it; that’s why I never stopped praying and believing! I just needed to wait for what He would do! Right, that’s what He meant when said He shall renew my strength!

I was tested. God tested my patience, faith, and trust in Him. In the end, God never fails. He never fails. The test was turned into a testimony. God heard my prayers and He honored my faith.

I love to dwell in His faithfulness and goodness in my life. I still have so many testimonies of His greatness and amazing love, but for now, I wanted to share the most recent one. True enough, when you have the Lord beside you, you will not be defeated. When you have Jesus in your heart and you truly and deeply believe in Him, victory will be yours. In this life, the tests that you face will only become testimonies. In this world, you will have trouble, but take heart, He has overcome the world!


A Universe of Wonder

Today, I was mesmerized by the fact that I am so small.

Not in height (I already knew that), but I am talking about my size in relation to the cosmos. I’m afraid that am nothing worth compared to such vastness and immensity… but still, I feel so great. And it’s a real good shrinking feeling.

I have always been fascinated by space, stars, planets, galaxies, light years, milky way. I am a huge astronomy fan! It just goes to show that in my tiniest existence, there is an unimaginably enormous existence outside of the world that I’m actually living in. I bet I am still smaller than a bacterium invisibly swimming in the Pacific Ocean, as I am in this universe. There are even claims that our universe is not the only one; there are a lot of other universes (multiverse) that are impossible to count or explore. These have always blown my mind, why, it cannot certainly grasp its enormity!

This astonishing knowledge leads me to the realization that, everything on earth, the things in my life, or the ideals I cling to, are just a speck of what there really is. Most of the time, we get so entangled with the mundanities of everyday life, including its worries, imperfections, injustices, doubts and fears. At other times, we get caught up in our happiness, pleasures, successes, and worldly affairs. There is nothing wrong with being on a pursuit to finding life’s joy and triumph. After all, we all live and struggle to attain happiness and contentment. However, if we picture it in a larger (way, way larger) scale, everything in life is temporary… and limited. And if we focus only on this finite measure of existence, then most likely we will end up always searching for something that cannot be possibly found anywhere in the visible reality. Thus, we end up always desiring for more, dissatisfied, discontented, hungry, thirsty, wanting, incomplete.


That’s what cripples us- the void in each one of us that is so dejecting and gruelling. And so we desperately fill it with things in this meek, small earth in order to feel complete. (But even the earth itself needs the sun for survival of its living inhabitants). It seems that all things imaginable must depend on something or someone to be complete, but wherever we look, we just can’t find our fulfillment.

That someone complete and perfect” is sometimes the most neglected reality. Maybe because he is invisible? I say He is the most visible evidence of greatness and power in all existence!

Who keeps the planets in place in space? Who knows the number of the stars and each of their names (Psalm 147:4)? Who holds together the entire universe in His hands (Colossians 1:17)? Who goes from the beginning to the end (Revelation 1:8)?

No one, but the God of the universe.

He is the God who causes the sun to rise up in the morning and set at dusk. He is the God who causes bolts of lightning and sends rain from the sky. He is the God who creatively crafts snowflakes and cause them to fall from the clouds. He is the God who sprinkled endless sands on the shore and sends waves into the seas. He is the God who breathed the stars and made the heavens when He spoke. And He is the God who breathed life into us, His very masterpiece of limitless, endless, and immeasurable love.

We are a galaxy of thoughts from our loving and great God. If He created space and time in ways that we cannot fathom, then how much more when He created our very being that is infused with the love of an eternal God? How much more value and favor and power there is?

I may not be able to fully comprehend and describe this magnificent love that I’m talking about, but I’m sure it is what has compelled me to believe and surrender my life to the One who is the ultimate expression of His love, and that is Jesus. His son whom He sent to die on the cross for our own sins is, for me, the meaning of my existence and by which God’s love is measured. He is the beginning and the end, the power that is before all things and in whom all things hold together.

It is true that we are so small. But our God, who is bigger than endlessness and eternity itself, has loved us with such greatness that our significance stands out among all the universes…

That love alone completes us, makes us understand the unfathomable, and makes us see the invisible.

How great is our GOD!

If you want to be more amazed by God’s greatness in His creation, you can watch these videos (Links below). Trust me, they’re worth watching. 🙂